I have the worst memory in the world. Let me rephrase that, I have the worst memory when it comes to things that matter. Somehow I hold onto random bits of knowledge that won’t ever help.. I mean they aren’t even the useful kind that might help me win Jeopardy, I can recall every episode of certain TV shows (ahem….Full House), I grew up watching on TGIF and maybe most embarrassingly when it comes to DJ’s dating life….lets just say I am an expert. My sisters like to say I have made up memories because sometimes I just fill in the blanks to family stories I should know, or insert a new event in my life timeline, tho most often my “memories” are about what people wore.. Im not exactly sure where I come up with the outfits but my sisters assure me they aren’t real….. but i still think they might be…… Like I said, important memories (to the real world) are not something that come to the forefront of my mind.
When I was in 3rd grade the only Grandmother I have ever know passed away from a long battle with cancer. While I remember painful details of her illness while she lived with us, sometimes it it hard for me to remember her healthy. My older sisters and cousins can recall special camping trips up to the lake, time spent watching her put her hair in pin curls at night and even the way she smelled. The bits and pieces I can put together are slim to say the least. I remember her husky laugh, they way her hair almost looked like a halo when the sun caught it, and coloring for hours while she visited in the summers. I also remember the way she hummed, always a song in her heart that was to great to keep to herself. Perhaps my greatest memories of her include the endless hours we spent out in the back yard, under the shade of our giant maple tree. We would listen to the birds sing, pick flowers and eat butter & sugar sandwiches (something only a grandma could get away with feeding us).
Every now and then, while enjoying a summer day at my parents, I can almost feel her in the breeze, or hear her as the breeze plays a song on the Amazing Grace Engravable Wine Chimes. I hope I have made her proud of the woman I am becoming as I strive to have her strength, courage and love for those around me.