Ringing in the New Year

One of my fondest memories of the New Year isn’t so much a memory of that the actual day but the events leading up the the much anticipated Y2K. I know you all remember it – Almost everyone had emergency kits made, stores sold out of batteries & bottled water, people pulled their money out of banks. It was a want-to-be-survivalists dream come true. It offered an excuse to be crazy for a few months and purchase all of the gizmo & gadgets you’ve always wanted and not be labeled a freak. I must be honest- I am a secret survivalist at heart. Whenever I come across a show where you have to hunt your own food & make a shelter I think to myself “If I had to do this I could and do it well”. I have started fires by literally ripping splinters off of wood to make kindling because there is no ax (what kind of person has fire wood but no ax?!), camped for almost a month straight forging for coconut’s that dropped from the trees and I survived the Spring Break Quake of 1992 (I was 7).  So I figured if mayhem struck at midnight on Jan 1, 2000 – I would be prepared.

When midnight came and went and nothing happened, nothing, the world didnt end, computers didn’t cease to exhist, and there were no riots on the street (at least not in NE Portland), I was relieved and a little disappointed. I was ready to show off my secret skills to everyone, make shelters out of little more than a blue tarp and some duct tape, cook a gormet meal over a campfire in the middle of the road (seriously – why would we be in the road, were houses going to implode as well?), sew clothes out of scraps of cloth forraged out of the garbage and make my own soap out of lye & fat. Oh well, maybe I will have the opportunity to utilize my talents at another time. For now I will continue my research & sharpen my skills.

This year I will be ringing the new year, thankful that the computers of the world didn’t fail and I will be warm and cozy no matter where I spend it. So raise your glass of delicious bubbly  and toast with me –

Here is to running water,
And store bought soap.
To working computers ,
A future with hope.

To ovens that work
A roof over my head,
Money in the bank
And my comfy bed.

1 Comment
  1. Clara this is hilarious! I definitely want you around if a disaster ever occurs!

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