Men Like it Easy

Guest Blogger: Derek

Your birthday is coming up, and that means one thing for me–panic. I’ve suffered enough holiday faux-pas to last me a lifetime. The tongue-in-cheek gag gift that hit a little too close to home (Sorry Dad about those over the hill balloons and the cane on your 50th, you weren’t thrilled) to the old standby romantic gift of: “its our anniversary..?” Okay so I’m not the greatest gifter, I’ll admit it. Its not in my nature–I’m a minimalist. A guy of the “does it work?” mentality. Example, my only question to the victims–I mean recipients–of my cooking is “is it edible?” That’s my standard, if you can call it a standard. Well, I’m finding that unfortunately for me and everyone like me (sorry guys) no one has ever been thrilled by our sincerest lack of effort.

Not to say we don’t try, gentlemen, because we do! There’s a certain level of expectation in our minds when we want to show someone our affection through a gift. Especially with our significant others. There’s a vast amount of frustration that occurs when we are failed by gifts who fall repeatedly short of our expectations. An expectation that somehow an object, a gift, is supposed to sum up our affections for another. So if you’re me, you give up and hope for the best.

Fortunately for us though, there are a lot of simple ways to send a complex message. I’ll never forget my favorite romantic card I’ve ever received as a teenager. I was 15 and deeply in love, back when love was something I couldn’t fully grasp the profoundness of.¬† I came to school early one morning to find a card in my locker littered with song lyrics and quotes that she identified with me. No special reason for it being there other than to let me know. What an amazing gift. There weren’t hours in department¬† stores, ambling through aisle to try and find something that somehow fit our love, she had already heard it in poems, songs, and passages in books and felt it resonate within her. They spoke to her and her gift was sharing it with me.

You’re not going to be able to pigeonhole your affections into any gift and it is the reason why we feel like birthdays/holidays/anniversaries and presents in general are a colossal ordeal. The truth is what’s important is that you find a way to communicate what you already know is in your heart, and believe me, once you pick up a pen and tap a sincere and wholesome resource as the human heart–you’ll be surprised what comes gushing forth. That, with any present, is the true gift.


  1. what about the ones that just give you money to get what you want?

  2. Wow Derek! Thanks for helping all of us females figure out what really goes on in the “males” head. It is nice to know you as men worry about this kind of stuff also. Maybe you should teach a class to some of our significant others.!

  3. Wow, this makes perfect sense! I’ve always dreaded opening gifts in front of people because I’m always afraid that I won’t give the reaction that the gifter was hoping for. During Christmas or my birthdays my husband always looks as excited as a 5 year old about to wet himself when he gives me a present that he’s picked out all by himself. But then he always seems to look so disappointed that I wasn’t a little more excited, or a little happier, or a little more surprised. Then he asks me for the next two weeks if I really did love the gift, or if I want him to take it back, and he becomes unsure of himself when he was once so excited that he’d gotten me the perfect present. I always DO love the gifts SO much, but it always seems like my reactions aren’t up to the emotion that he’d imagined I’d show when he bought it. So now I understand, thanks!

  4. I’ve always wondered what men are thinking when they pick out gifts….This is a good post because there aren’t many that let us see into the mind of men!! good job!

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